I    woke up last night to the sound of laughing and realized I’d fallen asleep    with the TV on. It was 3 AM and I knew it was Jon Stewart but I had to fumble    around for my glasses to see who his guest was. Unbelievable! It was Jesus, in    his robe and all. His nose was bigger than I thought, his skin a lot darker,    but his eyes were more piercing than I’d ever imagined. It was like light came    out instead of going into them.
John    was making some joke about both of them being Jews and Jesus, after laughing    harder than I thought he would, said quite seriously to Jon, “Yeah, that’s one    of the weirdest things, isn’t it? How could they forget that?”
Jon    was all over him with questions from the daily news. What was his take on the    whole Mosque/Ground Zero fiasco? Jesus said he’d seen some newscasts on the    story and couldn’t believe the drama and fear it was bringing up. “They want    to build a public building for prayer, education and community gathering.    That’s a good thing. A better thing perhaps, would be the construction of an    interfaith building, There’s room for everyone, and it’s these distinctions    between religions that’s causing all the problems in the first place.”
Jon    looked incredulous. “An interfaith building??”
“Yes,    a multi-tasking mosque, with a synagogue, chapel and meditation hall in it. A    building where people of different faiths come together to make a better world    together. That’s the point of religion right? It’s not about doctrine. It’s a    plan for action, an opportunity to be a communal force for good. Religion is    just the map. Faith is the real adventure.”
“I    don’t know….” said Stewart, making one of those funny mouth movements he    does after hearing a strange idea.
Jesus    pipes in, “What could be better in that spot than a building that represents,    by its very structure, a coming together, a new vision that goes beyond    religious borders? It’s like taking a good idea and making it great. The real    prophets of the day know this. Where are their voices? Why aren’t you    interviewing them?”
“Hmm,    I thought I was,” says Stewart, tapping his pencil on the desk.
“You    know why you have border issues here? Because you believe the borders are    real, like they MEAN something. Muslin against Christian, Mexican against    American, Republican against Democrat–all those borders are made up. You put    up walls to defend your ideas–and not even your OWN, but ideas passed down to    you from someone else–and then you make other people look like demons. It’s    no wonder this country is in a state of collapse. You don’t even get it how    connected you are. You’re like five fingers on a hand who think they’re    separate and make up reasons why not to get along.”
Jon    sat there with his mouth open.
“You’re    like children playing war games. You spend all your time, all your energy    attacking the “other side” instead of realizing you need to bridge the two    sides in order to get across to a higher level of thinking. Even news shows    are at war. Look at how you make fun of FOX. What light does that add to the    world? All the time you could be giving to real visionaries, all the ways you    could be role-modeling good behavior, showing the audience how it really WORKS    to bring great and opposing minds together, and you sit there poking fun at    another station. That’s really enlightened, isn’t it?”
This    was the first time I’d ever seen Jon Stewart speechless. He looked like an    embarrassed 6th grader. No pencil tapping now. More like a puppy with his tail    between his legs.
“What    in the world are you people doing? The ones who call themselves “religious”    are often the most immature, the most judgmental and intolerant. What is THAT    about? That’s exactly the opposite of what every religion teaches. And I mean    EVERY religion,”
Jesus    said, as he looked away from Stewart and spoke right to the camera.
“All    the religions say two basic things,” he said, holding up his fingers in a    peace sign.
“First,    there is no distance between you and this one you call God. God is the    creative force behind all things. It’s invisible, but you are the    manifestation of it. I’m telling you, the Sistine Chapel should have been a    mirror.”
The    audience laughs, but Stewart stares into those deep eyes of the Nazarene.
He    goes on, ” You are the eyes, the hands, the feet of that creative force. That    energy is in you. It’s called your breath.” He holds up his index finger and    taps on it a few times. “That’s the first thing. Don’t think there’s some man    out there pulling strings. Grow up. This civilization–if you can call it    that–is YOUR creation. This earth, it is not a bunch of resources to be    exploited. It is not to be owned. It is your mother, the womb that you sprang    from. You are its consciousness, its neural cells. The whole earth is the    organism that you belong to. You did not come down to earth, you came up from    earth, as I did. Its well-being is in your hands. Can you be proud of what    you’re doing? Are you going to be the ones who kill it off, after all that    talk about pro-life?”
Jesus    was getting a little worked up, like that day he stormed through the temple    turning over the merchants’ tables. Jon cut to a commercial, “And we’ll be    right back to hear the 2nd basic thing from our guest tonight, ladies and    gentlemen, the Jewish prophet Jesus of Nazareth. Stay tuned…”
They    were laughing about something when they returned from the commercial, Jesus    stretched out in his chair with his long lanky legs covered by his tunic, his    sandaled feet hidden under the desk.
“OK,”    Jon says, “You were saying there were two things. Let me see if I got this    right. There’s no bearded guy up there on a cloud. That God we talk about and    fight over is the creative force inside us and around us? It’s invisible and    we’re like….(a long pause) its shadow?”
“Not    exactly,” says Jesus. We’re like the physical form of the same energy. The ice    cube version of water or steam. Same elements, different form. The sea and the    iceberg. You’re all icebergs in the Sea of God,” he said, half-laughing at his    own quaint metaphor. “But the problem is you don’t realize that underneath it    all, you’re all connected. There’s just one big iceberg with a lot of tips.    The truth is, you’re Creation continuing the co-creation of Itself.”
“Oh    my,” says Stewart. “Let’s leave that discussion to Bill Moyers, What about    number two? What’s the number two thing we’re supposed to know?”
Jesus    holds up his two fingers again, tapping the tip of his middle finger. The    camera zoomed in so closely on him I could see a scar on his forehead. “It’s    not so much what you need to know–that’s part of the problem, all these    peoples’ belief systems. That’s what gets you in trouble. No one has to    believe in me to get to heaven. A…there is no heaven to get to and B, it’s    not what you believe but how you act that matters. If anyone learned anything    from reading that Bible they should have picked up that one. There’s 3000    references to helping the poor in there. But let me get back…”
“Yes,”    says Stewart. “The second thing..”
“The    second thing is this: forget everything you ever learned in any holy book and    just treat everyone like a brother and a sister. I mean that literally. If it    were your brother coming across the border…your sister with cancer and no    health care….your child unable to get an education….your mother with no    food in her house. And even further, your brother who was gay or hated gays,    your sister who was a corrupt politician, your brother who bombed an abortion    clinic, your sister who got an abortion. What does it look like to love    unconditionally? To bridge differences, to come together over what we can    agree on? Can you get through one day without thinking you’re better or less    than another? That’s the thing to strive for. That is living faithfully.”
“But…but…”    says Stewart. “What about the Tea Partyers, the terrorists, what about Fox    News and hate crimes?”
“If    you think they are so different from you, be the opposite of what you think    they are and enact that powerfully in the world. Don’t focus on who’s wrong.    Just be a greater force for good.”
“Not    focus on who’s wrong? How could I do my show?”
“Exactly.    Remember what Gandhi said? Be the change you want to see in the world?”
“Sure.    I have that quotation on my refrigerator.”
“Well,    it’s time to take it further. You’re evolving as a people. You’ve come through    the Dark Ages, the Middle Ages, the Renaissance, the wrongly named Period of    Enlightenment. You’re now in the Information Age. You are growing your    consciousness. In the physical world, you have Olympic marathon trainers who    run 10 miles or more a day. They spend every waking hour in training, eating    the right foods, researching the right clothing and equipment, working out,    following a discipline. And in the metaphysical world, the spiritual world,    you have people doing the same–they are your mystics and prophets–engaging    in spiritual practice, accelerating their wisdom, expanding their    consciousness, transcending judgment and radiating love into the world. You    might be in that category.,.”
Stewart    does one of his choking, ahem things, putting his hand over his mouth. “Out of    the question,” he says frankly. “I thrive on judgment.”
“Good    to know yourself. You’re all evolving at different rates. In the fall, when    you look at a maple tree, you see leaves that are green, yellow, orange and    red. They don’t all change at the same time. And that’s what makes life    exciting. You all know different things. That’s why you need each other. Like    that guy Ken Wilbur said, “You’re all right, only partly so.”
Stewart    nods his head in agreement, tapping his pencil on the table again.
“But    back to Gandhi. I agree with what he said, but I’ll say it a different way,    just to shake things up a bit, which I love to do. By the way, it’d make a    great bumper sticker:
Be    the God you want to see in the world.”
“Oh-oh,    sounds blasphemous to me,” says Stewart.
“You    know as well as I do, every good idea starts out as a blasphemy.”
“OK,    great, we’re out of time,” says Stewart, as the camera swings over for a shot    of the audience. They’re all standing, some crying and laughing at the same    time, the most incredible look of collective awe I’ve ever seen. And Jesus    walks over like Jay Leno and starts shaking hands with them. What a  night!”