Upside of Outsourcing

August 12, 2004 admin 32 Comments

This surprising news, sent by Marty Merrill, greeted me on my return.

OUTSOURCING OF JOBS REACHES THE PRESIDENT

by Staff Reporter Melynda Jill

Washington DC – Congress today announced that the Office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to overseas interests as of June 30th, the end of this fiscal year. The move is being made to save not only a significant portion of the President's $400K yearly salary, but also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.

“We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be significant,” stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-Wash). Reynolds, with the aid of the GAO (the General Accounting Office), has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. “We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay,” Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time. Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the Office of President of the United States as of July 1.

Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open.

“Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center,” stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. “I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President someday.”

A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using this tree, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all.

“We know these scripting tools work,” stated the Spokesperson. “Mr. Bush has used them successfully for years.”

Mr. Bush will receive health overage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $240 dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience. A possibility is re-enlistment in the Army National Guard. Should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited. “I've been there, I know all about Iraq,” stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport nonsmoking terminal and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate welcome. Congress continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities including that of Vice President and most Cabinet positions.

Crop Circles

Keeping you busy while I’m gone…

July 18, 2004 admin 38 Comments

I'm leaving today for three weeks to film crop circles in England. The season is in full force. There have been 98 worldwide so far this year, with 33 of them in England. (The biggest year for circles saw 300 of them in England!) For anyone new to the list, I keep interspersing things about the circles because “Contact” in headlines could change consciousness — and we've never need a change of consciousness more.

If you want to track the formations as they come in, with pictures and tidbits of information about them, the best site for that is http://cropcircleconnector.com/2004/2004.html — scroll down past the ads to the months, starting in April, when England got its first circle of the year, where you also can check into what has come in so far.

I probably won't post anything until after I get back on August 8, so I thought I'd leave you with the petition I have for signatures (please do sign) to get attention paid to this most interesting thing going on in the world. If you follow the various links that are indicated, you'll find yourself deep into the dazzle of these mysterious works of art.

We, the signers of this, request that attention be paid to the crop circle phenomenon. We urge all those who think there are mundane explanations for crop circles to become aware of the research that has been done that suggests otherwise. It is in fact possible that a highly intelligent non-human agency is responsible. At this time, when a unifying vision is needed for all the peoples of Earth, this phenomenon could provide that. With even a small chance of such a result, we urge serious investigation of the possibility that we are indeed being visited and signaled.

Sign the call.

WHAT IF THEY’RE REAL?

A Call For an Investigation of What is Known About Crop Circles

Given skewed press coverage and unfounded attacks by professed skeptics, there is a predisposition to dismiss this phenomenon. However, a modicum of time spent examining the evidence shows that there is more to crop circles than is popularly understood .

Something is happening on Earth that could be extraordinary. It is very possible that we are receiving intelligent communications from a non-human source. With circles dating back at least hundreds of years and perhaps thousands, well over 2,000 formations have been documented and examined since 1989 when the phenomenon took a turn into designs of much greater complexity. They have appeared now on every continent except Antarctica, with reports of circles in the United States going back to 1880. Incredibly, we see very little about this in the media.

What If We Are Not Alone?

A great power has arisen, directing thoughts and perception in a certain direction towards a more complete and satisfactory view of reality than the modern conventions of materialism have previously allowed. Gently, subtly, with no disturbance or panic, we are being guided across a watershed, from one worldview to another. And this is in no way arbitrary, but a purposeful process, in accordance with the interests of eternal nature and the necessities of the present. We now can see something of what the ancients meant when they spoke of revelation.

– John Michell
The Cereologist

Crop circles no longer are thought to be nature's designs, or left in the fields by weather phenomena, or produced by advanced military technology, among other theories that have come and gone. The one idea that persists as an explanation is that hoaxers are responsible for these constructions. This explanation, however, is borne of ignorance. Go to http://The Conversation.org/booklet2.html to see some details in crop circles that defy explanation as to how they could be made by people .

Should “CONTACT” be in Headlines Everywhere?

This is a call to investigate the evidence at hand about the crop circle phenomenon.

Why?

Because if the makers are from someplace more scientifically advanced than we
are on Earth, they conceivably could help us with global warming, random asteroids, energy depletion, and every other environmental threat on our living planet
Because knowing we are being visited would open our minds to take us beyond our dangerously combative present dynamic
Because the knowledge that we are not the only intelligent species would capture our imaginations
Because an otherness amongst us would cause us to dream

With the possibility of ecological disasters looming and a world in permanent war threatening to destroy us all, the help that might come from a civilization more advanced than ours is too important to ignore. Those who have studied the crop circle phenomenon assure us that the data points to such a thing, and that all that's needed is for scrutiny be given to what has been discovered and discerned.

If we were to discover extra-terrestrial life, it would show that we are not intellectually unique in the galaxy. Man has a tendency to think he's very special. We consider ourselves morally, culturally, and intellectually unique. But if we were to find a signal from another star system, another thinking being, we would know that none of that is true. A connection with another intelligence would be the first bridging across four billion years of independent life in evolution. It would be the end of Earth's cultural isolation in a galaxy and a universe surely containing millions of other civilizations. It would be without doubt the greatest discovery in the history of humankind.

– Paul Horowitz
Project Director, Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI)

Wherever interest has been shown in them, crop circles have proliferated in number and have become much more complex. It surely is worth seeing what might be delivered to us and done for us if widespread interest were expressed now.

If you'd like more information, contact:

Suzanne Taylor
Executive Producer, CROP CIRCLES: Quest for Truth
suzanne@mightycompanions.org

Background Information

WHY REAL CROP CIRCLES CAN'T BE HOAXED
www.TheConversation.org/booklet2.html

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THE CROP CIRCLE PHENOMENON? www.MightyCompanions.org/cropcircles

MAKING SENSE OF OUR TIMES
www.TheConversation.org

World Press

O’Reilly Potted

July 15, 2004 admin 53 Comments

Rick Ingrasci is cooking this week — this piece, from The Nation, is the second post I'm making from mailings to his list. I hope this gets wide circulation!!!

My First (and Last) Time With Bill O'Reilly

by DAVID COLE

It started innocuously enough. on Monday, June 21, a producer from Fox News's The O'Reilly Factor called to ask me to appear as a guest that evening to comment on a front-page story in the New York Times claiming that the Bush Administration had overstated the value of intelligence gained at Guantánamo and the dangers posed by the men detained there. I'm generally not a fan of shout-television, and I had declined several prior invitations to appear on O'Reilly's show, but this time I said yes. Little did I know it would not only be my first time, but also my last.

I sat in the Washington studio as the taping of the show began in New York with a rant from Bill O'Reilly. He claimed that “the Factor” had established the link between Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein, and then played a clip from Thomas Kean, head of the Senate's 9/11 Commission, in which Kean said, “There is no evidence that we can find whatsoever that Iraq or Saddam Hussein participated in any way in attacks on the United States, in other words, on 9/11. What we do say, however, is there were contacts between Iraq and Saddam Hussein. Iraq, Saddam–excuse me. Al Qaeda.”

I was impressed. O'Reilly, who had announced his show as the “No Spin Zone,” was actually playing a balanced soundbite, one that accurately reported the commission's findings both that there was no evidence linking Saddam and 9/11, and that there was some evidence of contacts (if no “collaborative relationship”) between Saddam and Al Qaeda. Maybe all those nasty things Al Franken had said about O'Reilly weren't true after all.

But suddenly O'Reilly interrupted, plainly angry, and said, “We can't use that…. We need to redo the whole thing.” Three minutes of silence later, the show began again, with O'Reilly re-recording the introduction verbatim. Except this time, when he got to the part about Kean, he played no tape, and simply paraphrased Kean as confirming that “definitely there was a connection between Saddam and Al Qaeda.” The part about no link to 9/11 was left on the cutting-room floor.

Now it was my turn. O'Reilly introduced the segment by complaining that we are at war and need to be united, but that newspapers like the New York Times are running biased stories, dividing the country and aiding the enemy. “The spin must stop–our lives depend on it,” O'Reilly gravely intoned. He then characterized the Times story that day as claiming that the Guantánamo detainees were “innocent people” and “harmless.” He said the paper's article “questions holding the detainees at Guantánamo.”

I noted that the Times had said nothing of the sort. And I pointed out that the article relied on a CIA study finding that the detainees seemed to be low-level and had provided little valuable intelligence.

That didn't convince O'Reilly, however, who again criticized the Times for misleading its readers by terming the detainees innocent and not dangerous. I replied that he was misleading his own viewers, by exaggerating what the Times had said. “No, I'm not,” he retorted. So far, the usual fare on newstalk television.

But then I decided to go one step further: “It seems to me like the pot calling the kettle black, Bill, because I just sat here five minutes ago as you re-recorded the introduction to this show to take out a statement from the head of the 9/11 commission stating that there was no evidence of a link between Saddam Hussein and 9/11.”

Apparently O'Reilly does not like being called “the pot.” He exploded, repeatedly called me an “S.O.B.” and assured me that he would cut my accusation from the interview when the show aired. He also said I would “never ever” be on his show again. At this point, I wasn't sure whether to take that as a threat or a promise.

Sure enough, when The O'Reilly Factor aired later that night, both Thomas Kean's statement about 9/11 and my charge about O'Reilly deleting it were missing. All that was left was Bill O'Reilly, fuming at the liberal media's lack of objectivity and balance, and ruing the divisive effect “spin” has on our national unity.

David Cole (cole@law.georgetown.edu), The Nation's legal affairs correspondent and a professor at Georgetown University Law Center, is the author of No Equal Justice: Race and Class in the American Criminal Justice System (New Press), co-author, with James X. Dempsey, of Terrorism and the Constitution: Sacrificing Civil Liberties for National Security (New Press) and author of Enemy Aliens: Double Standards and Constitutional Freedoms in the War on Terrorism (New Press).

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